It's A Grand Texas Show

One thing I really enjoy during this time of year and throughout the fall is the different flowers that come into bloom in Texas. I know people look at them and have thoughts of sneezing and wheezing and with my allergies I have every right to feel the same. The fact of the matter is I don’t. There is a subtle and sometimes dramatic beauty that changes throughout the growing season as they put on a grand performance, one that paints the landscape in magnificent colors.

Some of the first flowers to take stage around here are the Bluebonnets. This little blue lady has every right to be the show opener as the State Flower. These flowers spread through large fields as they mirror the blue sky above. In the Texas wind they nearly appear as endless waves. She is a young maiden who skips lightly through the spring fields. As she does, she gives off a radiance of rebirth and awakens the audience’s eyes to her playful flirtation. One will find a sizable playground of blue for your amusement perfect for a lover’s picnic. Make sure you bring your camera for this blue carpet star is not shy and loves to be in pictures with her admirers.

As spring turns to summer the landscape progresses into a mixed pallet of various plants battling for center stage. During this act on discovers the suitors, clowns and villains. The Hedge Binweed has a beautiful pink flower that scatters itself about. It’s a playful flower that takes over large hilly areas while amusing its spectators. Along with this jovial performer enters the blue, white, and purple wild onion blooms. Their aroma adds a distinctive flavor that spices up the act. Around a dark corner on a rooting tree stump a shady character creeps into sight. One must be careful not to touch this gentleman for he will sabotage all who come too close. He is a handsome but cruel individual strutting his small white flowers neatly tucked into a vest made of three shiny wax-like leaves. Mr. Poison Ivy creeps over the stage with plans to steal the show.

In the wake of all this action gallops a hero. He is one of my favorite performers. Arriving on cue in the early summer and performing well into fall his act blankets fields just like the Bluebonnet. He is clothed in colors that remind us of the Indians that use to call the plains, valleys, and hills of Texas home. The Indian Blanket, which is also known as the Fire Wheel, gives a burning performance of red and yellow as he takes control of the stage. Bees, butterflies, wasp, bunnies and birds will fly and hop giving their supporting roles as lovers racing through the prairie. Mixed in this dance are the White and Pink Clover. Eventually the clover and the fiery blanket compete for the lover’s attention as they both take center stage.

Just as one thinks that these small beautiful flowers have monopolized the stage they become the set for two of summer’s most awaited performers. Rising up from the multi-colored surroundings of red, yellow and white is a very strong and tall performer. These performers stretch their talents upwards towards the lights and then they take the audience by surprise with large yellow blooms as the Sunflowers greet the audience. It does not matter if these great performers stand alone or in a field nearly neck high, they demands attention. One will find abundance of life giving a supporting role to their act. Hummingbirds and finches fly in and out of these great fields. Then as one looks down towards the ground these giants provide a shaded refuge for those that cannot take the heat of the summer spotlight.

As the summer winds down and the third act of fall starts, the royal lady Thistle takes her proper place in the story. With colors of purple she looks over her kingdom as it prepares for the winter. She does her part by supplying seeds to many of her subjects before calling it a goodnight as the curtain lowers to a sold out show. Until next season she bids you farewell.

My Wallet Growing Plastic

Have you looked in your wallet lately? I cleaned mine out a few weeks ago. I was amazed at how much plastic was in there that was not a debit or credit card. Face it, wallets were built and designed to hold money, credit/debit cards, and identification but now everywhere you go business want to give you their rewards card. They give us this card so they can save us money as loyal customers. I never heard so much cow dung. The resulting fact is if you don’t get their card they will screw you by forcing you to by marked up merchandise.

These are just some of the cards I found in my wallet: Best Buy Reward Zone, PetsMart PetPerks, Tom Thumb Rewards, Petco P.A.L.S, Kroger Plus, Brookshire’s, EDGE Game Stop, ExtraCare CVS/pharmacy, Office Depot, My Sonic. This is just about an inch worth of cards. You heard me, one inch. This doesn’t include I.D. Cards, money cards, insurance cards, or heaven forbid I might have cash in my wallet.

The million dollar question is how do you put all of this in a wallet without breaking it at the seams, or having the back pocket turned into a weird deformed lump on my buttocks. How soon would that make me a target of a good mugging? Afterward the mugger would probably get irritated because it all discount club cards. Have a heyday with that, bozo. Make sure to use them all. I need the reward points.

Now I realize you can get the key-chain tags. Are we really going to go there? I thought not. A whole inch worth of discount tags on your chain. Yeah, well you must be yanking mine. I mean, this is really a joke.

You can even scan them into your phone, and just pull out the app as needed. That’s right, let people know you have financial information on your phone. With this device they do not even have to mug you just use one of those scanning thingamajig and they got all your information. I think I want an app that fries any machine trying to steal from my electronics. Unfortunately you might get sued for booby-trapping your merchandise from unlawful use. Other than the state of our economy, this is a pretty good sign that the criminals are running things when we risk prosecution for protecting our items and/or ourselves.

You know, I am not even sure what all these cards do. For instance I do not remember ever getting a discount from the PETCO card. I just went to their website and it tells me I am saving money on a wide range of items throughout their store… Apparently I just do not know how much I am saving. Good thing they were able to tell me. I guess I need to keep this card.

I have also been told that stores use these for tracking purposes so they know what people are buying and what to keep in stock. The card tells them that? Do they think we are morons? Their daily, weekly and monthly sales and inventory gives them that information. If it doesn’t they are the morons using the governmental monetary and product tracking system that is supporting our nation. Simply these cards are the easiest way to get you on a mailing list, and eventually no matter what they say this information will most likely be sold to other data collection facilities that will be sold to mass marketers.

I would boycott using these cards starting today, but I know many of them bring merchandise down to what it should cost. It’s not like I think I am getting a great buy but I at least know I’m not paying the supper inflated price that non-members pay. So, I guess in the end what we need is someone to re-invent the wallet. A wallet that will shrink these cards down to just one. Because I really do not care how many cards I have just that I get the best deals and that I do not feel like I’m sitting on an uncomfortable booster seat. A discounted booster at that.

(C)Jonathan S. Brooks 04-19-11 (Picture Unknown Artist)

Happy Taxation Day

So taxes are coming around the corner and you and I both want to know what in the (profanity) are they doing with the money? Is it so they can take a vacation when they shut the government down? Maybe it is to pay off the debt? Wow, I just made a joke. I got it the FED wants to give financially secure people self imposed bonuses. The honest truth is I do not know where our income tax goes and I'm not sure those collecting it do either. Yes I have looked at the graphs and the numbers and I tell you what we voted devious people into office for way too many years for any of it to start making sense now. The sad part is I doubt we are going to start making any corrections to the government scam any time soon. So instead of complaining about it and/or the government let's do something constructive, let's talk about dogs.

Dogs welcome us home no matter what we have done. They lick our faces right after licking... Let's not talk about dogs. How about cats. Cats will jump up in our lap, purr, and then rip the hell out... no, no... no good. Let's find another topic. Babies are great... nothing wrong here. They are cute, loud, need changing and keep you awake... Darn, I thought I had a winner.

Well that proves it. It's the national IRS holiday and it causes even the best of things to stink. Until it is over I will struggle to think good thoughts. Let's open the window, get some fresh air... is that a skunk? Oh, nothing that good. Just a political ad on the radio.... Happy taxation day.

(C) Jonathan S. Brooks 04/06/11
Picture Unknown Artist

Just Shoot It !

During a sleep deprived night I stumbled across a picture of a cassette tape and an old cell phone both sitting on a bench and talking to one another. What did you say? No I’m not taking any drugs. Well… actually yes I am, but they’re doctor approved. The cell phone was ancient at least 3 years old, and we know that cassettes are the prehistoric offspring of records. I think the phone might have been a Razor. No… not the one you shave with, the one you talk with. Now the cassette was saying “Back in the Day I was…” This seemed to be a sensible statement from a cassette, because nowadays they just come unraveled as form of self expression. Of course that is a problem with many of the aging when not receiving proper internal care. They seem to get all backed up and then release it all at once. You know what I mean.

Are ya’ll still stuck on the talking tape, or is me taking medication? Shoot, I have a phone that can talk, remind me what to do, can unlock my car and much more. So a talking tape is child’s play. I also remember one time when the walls where breathing… I was on doctor subscribed drugs then too, but I’m sure the talking tape was not drug induced. This conversation is starting to make me feel a little like Alice. One pill makes you smaller… those were Strange Days, a great movie but not applicable to the conversation.

Now where were we… the aging of technology? Old technology is truly mistreated. When it is bought every one brags about the new great item they have received and within a few short years you can’t give it away. Worse yet like most people it just cannot adapt to the quickly changing protocols that are needed for proper modern day functioning. Yes for a while you can boost it up and do a few up dates. But in the end it becomes as useful as a rock never functioning the way it did when it was younger, only to await the inevitable solution of abandonment for a quicker, sleeker, and better performing model. So next time you notice an old worn out paper weight remember that you use to treat it like it was magnificent and now it is waiting broken hearted for you to return. Since that is not going happen just shoot it and put it out of its misery. It is the kind thing to do.

(C)Jonathan S. Brooks 04-0-11

Spring Is In The Air?

Well the weather has been a might bit manic lately going from one high down to an uncomfortable low. The first of spring brought its welcoming warmth. Even with temperatures that were seasonally higher than normal, there was nothing to complain about. The allergens where a little higher but one could wear shorts and find comfort in the changing of the seasons. Apparently it wasn’t all great because Mother Nature turned around and bellowed her concerns with winds that could knock down a grown person. I mean she just wouldn’t let up. This caused a huge amount of evaporation to my Koi Pond, which I mistaken for a massive leak. It’s not fun getting in water that has not warmed up to its proper temperature yet, but I’m not complaining. Maybe the wind blew all those nasty allergens far, far away. I can hope. I know it contributed to the idiocracy of some mentally deficient individuals that thought burning trash during such wind in drought conditions was a good idea. These people were able to burn through their communities faster than a politician can increase the deficit, but I am not complaining. Somehow we all adjust to sharing our oxygen with people that could be better off donating their use to the rain forest. When the wind decided to settle down I would have hoped that we were back on track to warm spring weather, but Nature Girl developed a cold shoulder after airing her troubles. These lower temperatures became somewhat uncomfortable, but you know me I wouldn’t complain. My arthritis screamed louder than Ebenezer Scrooge looking for a missing lump of coal, but you did not hear a whimper from me. No, my heart went out to my friends further north who were actually getting snow. Why they don’t have the intelligence of Texas to live outside of frigid waste lands is beyond me. Perhaps it’s in the water. Today, I had to go do some grocery shopping and yes I found it a little cool, with a breeze that made it feel darn cold at times, but I’m not complaining. We all need such diversity in our lives and this weekend it should be back in the upper 80s. Today as I was out doing my chores I passed a Walgreens. I paused for a moment when I took a look at the temperature. Here is a picture of just what I saw. So you can understand how I felt... Now I’m complaining!

Pictures are Property of Jonathan S. Brooks
(C) Jonathan S. Brooks 3/29/11

The Mobilization of Taxation

I read the most wonderful suggestion the other day. Some bobble heads have purposed a tax for our deteriorating transportation system that would meter one’s vehicle mileage. Really! What are these people smoking? Hell, I would pay a toll on every highway before I agree to have my mileage metered. If I’m going to be metered I get a cab. Don’t get me wrong I recognize the need for financing the improvement to our transportation system, but when the advice comes from those whose financial purity has put us in a situation where there is talk of tolling our own vehicles I have to have reservations. The troll would no longer stands at the bridge asking for payment to pass for now he is sitting in your car asking payment to allow you to drive. Everyone would be punished for using the intended purpose of our roads and that is to widening one’s sphere of opportunity through the ease of mass travel. In today’s world many people drive hours to get back and forth from work. So these modern trolls would punish workers for the need to travel to hold down a job. They really are trying to create a debtor’s society where we will have to rely on them for everything, and if we do rely on them we will eventually end up with nothing.

There was further explanation given for such a tax. I guessing they thought it would be a surprise to know that we do not have the money to maintain the transportation infrastructure. Apparently we are unaware of the economics called Governmental Financing that for every dollar given only a small amount becomes potentially useable. The rest is compounded and adjusted into a negative figure called debt. Maintenance has not been and may never be a priority for the government or most corporations. It is always better to create versus caring for what one has. The reasoning for this is simple, self acknowledgement. This is a resource of gratification that politicians crave more than a good affair. See no one is acknowledged for maintain an aging system, but the new improved kid on the block will earn promotions and bonuses. The real clever project manager has even a more effective and lethal bomb. The weapon in this arsenal is simple. Appear to have a great project in the works to gain well deserved acknowledgement while widening the pool of debt. This method insures the largest bonuses for minimal resources. When the acknowledgement benefits are faltering it is time to pass it on to the next sap and start a new project based on the fanfare of the prior. This insures the continuation of beneficial attention and the growth of Governmental Financing while eliminating your competition in the disguise of a gift.

Further reasoning for the proposed tax is hybrid and electric cars. These alternative fuel options are withholding their duty to pay speculative gas taxes based on thruster vehicles. Now I know my eyes might be dimming but I’m not blind yet. The alternative fuel market has not taken over the majority of transportation. So they must be speculating on future traffic. Again do not get me wrong we need to care for our aging infrastructure but not with absurdity. Look at where the real problems lie. Do not let the politicians tell us the solution. Face it, that has been done and it has gotten us… well here. These scare tactics to bully proposals through would never pass except in political atmospheres that appeal to desperation. Before accepting such solution, look at the legitimacy of the solution versus the problem. If we do not we will have snake oil sales men fixing our budget with the same poison they have always used- our ignorance.

Well It's Not Science Fiction

 Now there are a lot of things not right in this world.  Maybe it is because we messed it all up or just because we are too dense to see that it actually all makes sense.  I’m partial to the theory that it is because we need extreme circumstances so that we can rationalize the absurdities in our lives.  Nevertheless, some things just cannot be explained.  Maybe God occasionally likes to get high and play games with our rationalities.  It would be too hard to accomplish.   For instance explain the Duck Bill Platypus, Bermuda Triangle, the Belmez Faces, and how did the 2008 Cardinals make it to the Super Bowl?  Yesterday in the news I read the most disturbing thing.  No reasoning for such a thing to exist.  It was a terrifying creature that was found fossilized in Brazil.  It was about the size of a dog.  It was an amphibian… no wait… it was actually a mammal.  Scratch that it was a hybrid of both of them, nothing worse than an animal that can’t make up its mind.  I’ve seen a few of those things on the streets they’re called cross dressers.  Now it gets worse as I said it’s a scary thing.  It had saber type teeth.  They were huge like a saber tooth tiger.  Obviously a top predator of its time but stop wait it is reported to be a vegetarian.  The anguish in this, the beautiful teeth made for deep puncturing where apparently used to ward off potential rivals when mating.  No wonder they went extinct they killed each other every time they needed to mate.  If the Almighty gave you the tools use them for the right purpose, and that is steak.  

All right to article belong to Jonathan S. Brooks 

I Would Like My Cyber Coffee Now!

Well I’m truly dazed and confused.  Went and checked out more social networks than I was even aware existed.  Now these weren’t specialized cyber societies.  You know those that can super compute and multiply your job opportunities and/or business networking to the trillionth level.   I did even walk down the cyber road to any special interest societies, or dating clubs.  No, these were just good old smack you in the face I’m here societies.  Come find me for I might have something really stupid to say and if you don’t continually follow me you will miss the whole event.  I come to the realization that I must of crashed and burned on my bike only to awake to realize that the internet is a world of its own with people desperate to reach out and find someone else only because they do not go to coffee shops, diners, neighborhood bars, or just plain get desperate enough to ride up and down the strip or go to another’s house.  I know face to face is scary. Trust me, I’ve seen pictures of some of you.   Not only that I’ve seen myself at times and wondered what the %@**.  I am pretty sure that is why cyber alternative relations are growing in popularity.  There are even places where you can get a cyber child, pet, or house.  Shoot, one lives in a small box in real world and a mansion in cyber space with everything he/she wants.  Including as one tires of their friends having the options to blow them up, shoot them and even worse de-friending them.  Try doing that in the real world.  Here on solid ground unfriending an individual can come with serious consequences.  Including they keep showing up!  It is hard to block them out when they keep driving up.  Other options, such as blowing them up have a higher price than most of us are willing to pay.  You know the cops get a might bit testy about such things.  Now cyber world don’t you get too carried away about your freedoms there are cyber cops.  Not sure what they look like but they are there.  Kind of like the IRS.  Though I’m not sure I understand cyber law either.  Commit a crime in the cyber world and go to jail in the real word.  Does that mean you get to keep your cyber mansion?  There is also a lot of cyber money out there.  Can that be brought into the real world?  Because I could use some of that currency.   Farmville I am talking to you.  I believe I am now going to sit down and have some tequila, not made by a cyber bar.  Then I’m going to pet my real dog, and at the end of the day I will cuddle up to my beautiful wife.  Sorry, this cyber thing does not have all the perks.

The Allergens are Marching Two by Achoo

Picture is Property of Jonathan S. Brooks

It’s spring time and the allergens are attacking.  They make air forces pale in their ability to lead a stealth attack, affecting more people in one wave than the common flu.  It starts with a tickling of the nose and ends up as a full blown explosion tearing through the olfactory system.  They won’t stop here, mercifulness in the daily pursuit of agony, these allergens are.   They delight in warning you of the suffering to come, that slight scratch to the back of the throat.  After toying with you, like a cat with its prey, the whole regiment will march down the bunker stripping the throat raw on its way to the lungs, while sending reinforcements to the sinuses.  Now they will clog up the infrastructure until the enemy is immobilized.  Oh yes, this is a well trained army, and it should be.  It has been waging its attack far longer than us.  Of course you will fight back with those snake oil treatments.  What is your favorite, vapor rubs… self suffocation?  Maybe you use an over the counter remedy, causing you to sleep through the misery putting you down nearly as good as the allergens, celebrate with this choice they will.   Maybe the Doctor’s prescribed blend of Vu-do can help after paying him/her enough to put a down payment on another condo for just the minimum of relief.  Last maybe you turn to electronics to save you with one of those filter things.  A good device for collecting all those allergens in one place creating a cannon to explode a concentrated attack at point blank range at their victim.  Yes, this army loves our technology and plans to use it against us.  Now I don’t know but I’m thinking about seeking legal help.   There are laws about unreasonable punishment and torture, and they need to be amended into the Laws of Nature.  She can’t think she’s better than all of us.  Flower power my @!!.  If refusing to quit we will threaten large scale plastic disposal, weed killers, oil, pollutants, and whatever else we can throw at her army… You know maybe this war is self-defense.